why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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