Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize