were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
