"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
