Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
