dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
