Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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