He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
