Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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