There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
