I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
