i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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