He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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