fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
