as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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