He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
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I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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