So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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