Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
