I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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