i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
