i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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