i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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