Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
