ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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