Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
