People with herpes should wear stickers.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
