i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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