is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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