My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
