I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
