maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
