so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
