when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
