My first STD was from a foam party
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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