I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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