When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
