thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
