and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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