Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
