we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
