he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize