xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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