I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
