Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
did you just send me my own nude
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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