Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
