i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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