The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
