do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize