He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
