When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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