WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
