I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
