a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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