The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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