OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
