Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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