can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
