epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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