Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
