wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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