I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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